Persona Non Grata

- The Seasons Of Grief: Chapter I - Poem III -

Door bolted; secrets folded,

Words muted; hearts scolded,

I didn’t know I wasn’t welcome

Rain pelting; fear melting,

I told you “This is debilitating”,

I didn’t think they weren’t welcoming

I’ve become persona non grata,

Hide behind doors they’ve painted with shame

I wear a mask, afraid of the game,

I’m dodging the talk, dancing around it

I’m persona non grata,

Had to shadow my love, like the forbidden fruit,

But all I want is to live my truth,

I’m dodging the facts, dancing around it

Do you really want to know what I was doing on June twenty-third?

Do I really have to say the words they’ll pretend were never heard?

Storm brewing; love blooming,

Lies fuming; guilt-consuming,

We were two for the world to defy

At the lockers; soft touches,

Behind curtains; quiet blushes,

What’s always been right, I hate to keep a lie

You know there’s a hundred different ways to see how their love dies,

The fastest way is to rip the bandages off their eyes

Do you really want to know what I was doing on October seventeenth?

Do I really have to tell you that I’m tired of living under a wilted wreath?

I’ve become persona non grata,

Walls closing in as I push them away,

Pretending it’s fine, but it kills me each day,

I’m dodging the truth, dancing around it

I’m persona non grata,

I hide in corners, lock every door,

All I want is to show them we’re so much more,

I’m dodging my house, driving right past it

Storms passing; hearts clashing,

Dreams crashing; guilt flashing,

Every kiss feels like a flight

At my house, lonely, their words phony,

You’d always stay right by me

Seemed like a wrong situation, you turned right

You know there’s a million different ways to abandon me on the street,

The cruelest way is doing it because I found the one person I wanted to meet

I’m persona non grata,

I hide under my sheets and pray through the night,

Beg for them to finally see what’s wrong and right,

I’m pleading for clarity, I want to see it

I’m persona non grata,

Burn the façade, let my heart speak aloud,

All I want is our love, not prejudice, just to be proud,

I’m praying for it; waiting for it

Lock bolted; shame sculpted,

Dream stolen; love jolted,

“I don’t know how this ends”

Rain soaking; fear choking,

You said, “I’ll be here when it does”

I didn’t know that it’d end,

But I know we’ll make it to the end